The Hungry Mum...

This week I’ve noticed a very interesting but powerful polarity of “Mum life”.

On the one hand I read an article that someone shared on my Facebook called the mediocre life and in it, it said:

“What if I embrace my limitations and stop railing against them? Make peace with who I am and what I need and honor your right to do the same. Accept that all I want is a small, slow, simple life. A mediocre life”

On the other hand I watched a fitness Mum accomplish a big goal which took her 6 years to achieve and that was to win her bodybuilding pro card in a very prestigious bodybuilding federation. This Mum has 4 kids and I’ve watched her for many years get up at 4am, train, then look after her kids and run her online business, which has now turned into quite an empire.

I saw another fit Mum - Emily skye post on her Instagram about how she returned to work (as she has her own business) after a week of giving birth. She believes it is possible to have kids and achieve your goals , that being a parent and having career goals is not selfish, it’s just more challenging.

The fitness mums are one of the most driven and “hungry” mums I’ve seen around. They are hungry for knowledge, they are hungry for goal setting, they are hungry to achieve their personal goals. And they are also dedicated mums.

Then on the other hand a lot of mums are happy being a mum and content to just be. The fast pace nature of society constantly driving people to do more, be bigger and better is just too much for some people and especially daunting for mums who are overwhelmed with the pressures of raising a small human. They are happy to just be.

This has left me pondering the polarity of society and of parenthood a lot. For me personally, parenthood has driven me to want to be more than just “be” , I had 14 months of being a stay at home Mum, of 24 hour breastfeeding, of changing nappies and cleaning up day in/day out. I then went back to work part time and really felt that I found myself again. For me, going back to work and “juggling” more has only further affirmed just how “hungry” I am to achieve more for myself and my family. Am I doing all this because society’s pressures are making me feel like I should? Because society expects me to? Because I can’t just be a mum and achieve my personal goals?

Definitely not. I do it because I’m hungry for it. I strive to grow as a person , as a Mum and because I see this life as one in which I need to see to its fullest.

And no, this is definitely not about Mum shaming. It’s about understanding drivers and understanding that it’s ok to want to achieve more once you’re a Mum.

So many mums feel conflict about doing things for themselves- be it just “me” time to relax or like me, doing extra studies while juggling it all.

So why would you bother? What sounds like an utterly exhausting experience of work, looking after and raising children , and studying or having other ventures which means long days, late nights - is actually a very soul searching and fulfilling experience to the “hungry” Mum.

The key difference here is time. While for most achieving big goals can be a completely selfish experience, with complete dedication solely to that goal. For many mums it’s about accepting that her goals will take a lot longer - perhaps years and even decades because they won’t compromise their kids and their family life either but accept that those goals are secondary to their primary focus which is their family.

I have accepted that my goals will probably be achieved well into my 40s , but that’s ok with me because I won’t compromise my family first, and that’s the key difference. So here’s to those who slowly chip away and go for the small wins each day, prioritising their family but not forgetting that for them, achieving personal goals - be it in fitness, other studies, side businesses - is a journey of small wins, but always staying hungry for it.